To Have And To Holding Pattern

Ok, seriously. What IS this?? All the girls around me suddenly have the Matrimonial Fever. It's not Spring and it's not the mid-20th Century, so why are so many of my snarky sisteren suddenly married, engaged, as-good-as-engaged, or at least trying on wedding dresses "just for fun"?!

I say it's either a heretofore undocumented effect of global warming (and we're unconsciously scrambling to git all the gittin' done before we're toaster strudels), or, and this is a bit more frightening, I'm beginning to think maybe 28 is our generation's Event Horizon...that at this point you either make a really big deal about your pairing off (the wedding) or you resign yourself to the serial monogamist perm-circuit, squeezing back into those J Brands year after year until the apple bottom falls out.

If the following gown from Monique Lhuilier's Spring 09 collection looks like a hot wedding dress to you (like it does to me and Deirdre), you may be a latter transitioning to a former...


...and you could probably benefit from a bit of reprogramming.

I want you to meditate on the following images, and when you're done, I want you to go to the bank, withdraw that 10K dress-fund, and do the following:

1. buy a motorcycle
2. kidnap best friend
3. drive to Mexico