Wednesday, October 29, 2008

My Extremely Fierce Friend Deirdre and I Do Iceland Airwaves Blue Lagoon Party

D and I went to the Iceland Airwaves music festival. I could tell you that she's my 24-Hour-Party Partner-In-Crime, but you really just have to look at this face to know you've got a fierce competitor here:



Most of the music-viewing kind of looked and felt like this:


Considering portraits of modestly successful Indie musicians are dull even when they're NOT taken from the back of the venue, I'll spare you those, and give you instead these photos of a rave on the moon.



Every year the Blue Lagoon hosts a dance/hangover party on Saturday - they bus you out from Reykjavik about 45 minutes to this spa facility. It's pretty much just for the tourists, but whatever.




The air was probably in the mid-30s, and the water was bath-warm but not hot. Deirdre says it's the only place you can get pregnant without having intercourse. It doesn't help that the mud at the bottom is this white, slimy silt.

Here she is, pondering immaculate conception:


Everyone was friendly...


...in a weird kind of Burning Man way, if Burning Man was high on arctic circle air and Viking beer instead of idiotic legwear.



DJ Margeir was spinning housey stuff. It was ok - coulda done with maybe a little rock or hip hop, but the only move you could do in the water, really, was to jump up and down. Jay-Z probably would've just lead to confusion.


You had to get out of the water to get beer, which seemed somewhat sadistic of the planners.

By the end you were treading on plastic cups, but I don't want to sound like a hater (as per usual). It was nice and surreal.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Whoa where'd everybody go?

Ohhhh, that's right. Everybody went to Iceland! I've been back for a week, and while I'm still kind of reeling from the relative idiocy of taking three days off from school during midterms, boy oh boy am I happy to be here. Roughly this happy:



I have fun Icelandic things to bring back to you as well, but you'll have to wait on those til I pull my head out of my class. Here's a shadow puppet of things to come:

Friday, October 17, 2008

Notices of Ettiquette: Iceland

The attitude toward punctuality is more casual in Iceland than in other parts of Europe. You will be forgiven for lateness. Even if you never needed it.


When you are offered Hakarl, DO NOT EAT IT. Funny-Fun-Ha-Ha foreign food is best left for the dolts on Globe Trekker; this stuff is shark meat that has been buried and left to putrefy for up to six minths. 1) Bury. 2) One of these. 3) Eat.

"No Takk Fyrir" is your apt response.


Try instead Skyr. I'm sure there's fish that hasnt been rotting for 180 days in that white, gurty goodness somewhere.





Do not critize the weather. And don't neglect your takk fyrir's when applicable.



Notices of Freddie Mercury: Zanzibar

This Beautiful Isle:


Begat this Beautiful, Beautiful Man:

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Quod Me Nutrit Me Destruit

Was just perusing the Paris RTW fashion shows and came across Louis Vuitton, and...um...


I AM NOT READY FOR THIS YET:


Marc?! Are you responsible for this?

By no means would I say I have "classic" tastes...I've got a dumb, angular haircut...self-inflicted. It looks exactly like this:



Now imagine me in the late 80s, trying to convince my pin-straight hair to wrap itself around crunchy mall bangs. There was disillusionment...despair..split ends...

It's these two decades of resentment that made me start at this permy abortion of a hairdo, squeak, and swear to track down the stylists responsible and embalm them with Ogilvie.

More terror on the runway:







Possibly the CyberGeishaPanMerryLostBoy defended her head with that big ol bag.


Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Firm Grasp on Foreign Policy Also Not Required

los angeles craigslist > SF valley > adult gigs

NEED SARAH PALIN LOOKALIKE ASAP FOR ADULT FILM (LA)


Reply to: gigs-836109998@craigslist.org [?]
Date: 2008-09-10, 8:20PM PDT


Looking for a Sarah Palin lookalike for an adult film to be shot in next 10 days.

Major adult studio.

Please send pix, stats etc. ASAP

Pay: $2000-3000

No anal required







Phew. That is WAYYY better.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Yes, There Were Penis Straws, But Not That Many.

Ok. I realize two in a row is excessive, but bear with me - this is the last time I mention this stuff for a while. I attended a bachelorette party this weekend, which was mostly populated by women who are allergic to the very concept of bachelorette parties:



As you can see, nobody died from Sarcastic Ego Inflamation. In fact, I'd say we handled ourselves admirably, with a high ratio of karaoke/dancing/bull-riding participation.

While I'm loathe to burden this blog with the gritty little details of my daily life, please allow me to make this one exception, because I'm pretty sure if you actually have A VIDEO OF YOURSELF RIDING A MECHANICAL BULL, you really ought to put it on your blog.



Especially if you're this fly doing it.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

To Have And To Holding Pattern

Ok, seriously. What IS this?? All the girls around me suddenly have the Matrimonial Fever. It's not Spring and it's not the mid-20th Century, so why are so many of my snarky sisteren suddenly married, engaged, as-good-as-engaged, or at least trying on wedding dresses "just for fun"?!

I say it's either a heretofore undocumented effect of global warming (and we're unconsciously scrambling to git all the gittin' done before we're toaster strudels), or, and this is a bit more frightening, I'm beginning to think maybe 28 is our generation's Event Horizon...that at this point you either make a really big deal about your pairing off (the wedding) or you resign yourself to the serial monogamist perm-circuit, squeezing back into those J Brands year after year until the apple bottom falls out.

If the following gown from Monique Lhuilier's Spring 09 collection looks like a hot wedding dress to you (like it does to me and Deirdre), you may be a latter transitioning to a former...


...and you could probably benefit from a bit of reprogramming.

I want you to meditate on the following images, and when you're done, I want you to go to the bank, withdraw that 10K dress-fund, and do the following:

1. buy a motorcycle
2. kidnap best friend
3. drive to Mexico










Friday, September 19, 2008

Celebrities...they're just like us!!

Except I look where I'm going.



Gross dude.


By now you'll have realized that Freddie Mercury Fridays have been very lo-key for the past couple of weeks. Kind of AWOL, actually.

It's important that you realize, however, that EVERY FRIDAY IS FREDDIE MERCURY FRIDAY.


You see? The power was inside you! It was inside you all along!!

NOW GET OUT THERE AND STRUT!!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

How white are we?

It's very late and I'm doing my Life Drawing homework...I know, right? I have homework in a class where I draw LIVE NUDE MODELS. It positively boggles.

I apparently also decided to explore how TOTALLY WHITE I AM, and have been watching Annie Lennox and Kate Bush videos on Youtube with one eye, the other trained on this...skeleton I'm drawing out of a book. I know. Still boggles.

I very soon realized, despite my opinion that Kate Bush's Hounds of Love is the Second Best Album of All Time, that I had never actually seen a video from her. Now that I've explored her efforts in this department, I very much...VERY MUCH wish I never had. I am suddenly illumined as to why she only made it big in the UK.

[Spoiler Alert]

In the following video, there's this flappy choreographed part where you're going to be like, "Oh, she's kidding! What a relief." But then these guys in Aborigine black face are birthed from the dirt and you're like, "Oh. Oh god Kate." Watch for Lorenzo Lamas in the back there:



I present to you Kate Bush's Dreaming. Put it on mute if you must.



I know, RIGHT?! You're like, "Hold on, wait, what? REEEEALLY? Nawwww." And I'm like, "Swear, dude. Can hardly believe it myself."

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Big Brown Beautiful Bear

This has absolutely nothing to do with fashion or Fashion Week. It has everything to do with a big ol beautiful brown bear. From the weird and wonderful brain of our friend Derek to you: