Friday, November 21, 2008

Maybe I've turned into a little bit of a hater lately, but I really can't be blamed. Every time I turn around there's something new in my path that's very, very stupid. Today's topic: weird things involving eyeballs.

3: Eye jewelry. As in, a contact lens with tiny jewels or crystals dangling from it, attached by micro-thread. Thank artist Eric Klarenbeek for this one. Sure, he's an artist, but I'm not known for issuing artistic licenses, so I judge him as I judge you. Without mercy. As I see it, the basic function of jewelry is seduction...would you hit that??

2. Eyeball implants. Inexplicably cute little titanium objects (hearts, stars, clovers...more Lucky Charms than the usual body modification icons of, like, Satan) inserted into the surface of your eye. Yeah. Supposedly you could get this done in the Netherlands (surprising noone with that, I assume) in 02...this website would suggest it continues, in case this has awakened a burning desire in you.

1. Eyeball tattooing....AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Know what, dude? And I'm sorry you had to get your effing eyeball tattooed before somebody told you this, but that thing you've done to yourself right there? That's permanent makeup. Might as well be trailer park eyebrows.

Just be glad I didn't post the pic of them actually DOING the procedure, kay.


  1. please, lighten up! you act as though people are making shallow cosmetic modifications at the risk of one of their major sensory organs! dude wants to look like a Fremen, he should live the dream - it's just his EYES; it's not like he uses them for anything...

  2. isn't there also some kind of dye stuff you can put in your eyes to make the whites turn different colors? not permanent i think... still weird.